LiveScience.com: Marriage: It's Only Going to Get Worse

Marriage is hard. My marriage is far from hardened, but we've had several moments where we've been astonished at the evil we are capable of.

Here's the sum quote of the article:

In all age groups, individuals reported viewing their spouse as the most negative compared with children and friends. The negative view of spouses tended to increase over time.

And it's best insight:

As relationships with spouses became more negative, relationships with children and friends seemed to become less demanding and irritating over time. Negativity toward friends decreases over time partially because we can continuously choose and weed our friends, ditching those pals who are irritating, according to the researchers.

If a friend gets on your nerves you just take a few days off from seeing him/her. And if things get really bad, you find a new friend.

But you can't do that in marriage. I can be very arrogant - and when this affects my marriage I can't avoid it the way I can in other relationships. I must repent much more, which I am often slow to do. My lack of humility and willingness to repent (along with my awareness of my wife's sin) cause the negative feelings this article speaks of. Only in repenting daily and clinging to Jesus can we really fight for one another's "glory self" - as we are called to do in marriage.

This is how we know that God loves us. My friend Jim pointed me to this part of the book of Hebrews:

In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons?

“My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,
nor be weary when reproved by him.
For the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and chastises every son whom he receives.”

It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.